just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
