epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
two words: eviction party
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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