you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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