My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
