ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize