3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize