Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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