My nipple is on Facebook.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
