She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
