Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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