I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
not ubering you a puppy
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
