yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
