Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
