??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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