Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize