Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
