go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
