Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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