Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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