i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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