I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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