What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
