This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
