**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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