I got chris browned last night
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
