"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
