I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
