im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
