Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
