I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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