You really coming over, don't trick.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
