he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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