birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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