But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think I sprained my soul last night
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
