I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
