is your mom at the bar?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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