Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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