He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
People in love make me want to vomit
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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