Everything about him screamed your future.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
