I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
