It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
