You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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