hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
