I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
