Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
