dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Randomize
