I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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