Sponge bath it is.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
