Kiss
Puke
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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