we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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