your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
