Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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