New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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