I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
