I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize