Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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