The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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