I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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